Welcome to Your First Colonoscopy!
Guess what? March is Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month! That means if you’re forty-five and due for your colonoscopy, you get ten points for going now!
Colonoscopies Need A Rebranding
If you mention getting a colonoscopy people grunt and say two things: the prep is terrible, and the nap is great. I promise you it wasn’t that bad.
My approach was mind over matter. I had to do it, so I didn’t make a STINK. If you think it won’t be a big deal, it won’t!
What’s A Colon?
The colon (aka large intestine or large bowel) is an organ that’s part of your digestive tract. Your colon gets the (mostly) liquid leftovers after your small intestine takes the vitamins and nutrients out of your food. Upon arrival, the liquid is absorbed, and the bacteria break down the remaining material (buzz topic: gut health). Whatever remains goes to the evacuation station.
What’s A Colonoscopy?
A colonoscopy is a medical procedure where a finger-sized flexible camera tipped tube snakes through your colon inspecting the lining and looking for abnormalities. For the duration of this short examination, you’re under light anesthesia.
Why Do We Need Colonoscopies?
Some people need them if they’re suffering from digestive issues. If this is not you, then at forty-five it’s seen as a preventative measure. A colonoscopy is the only way to check inside your body for polyps (pre-cancerous growths) or cancerous growths. Since early stages of colon cancer can be asymptomatic, this relatively easy procedure can potentially save your life.
Why Is The Magic Age For Your First Colonoscopy 45?
As with all cancers, early detection is key. Over the last five decades, people have been developing colon cancer earlier, so they need to be screened younger. Forty-five is the new fifty in colorectal health.
Does Insurance Cover A Colonoscopy?
Yes! Thanks to the Affordable Care Act there should be no out-of-pocket costs involved when getting a preventative colonoscopy. But always double-check with your doctor and insurance company.
What to Expect When You’re Expecting… Your First Colonoscopy
We met our awesome gastroenterologist first for a consultation and then she scheduled the procedure. She asked about our family history, our digestive issues (if any) and took our vitals. Since these appointments can get BACKED UP make sure you call in advance if you’re working within a specific time frame.
Let’s Go DEEPer
During your consultation, you’ll discuss the “dreaded” colonoscopy prep and which one is right for you. At this time, there are several different liquid preps and one pill prep.
She also advised that we be mindful of our diets the week prior to the test by eating only low-fiber foods and avoiding seeds. Additionally, she suggested skipping anything that could get stuck in our teeth – because it could get left BEHIND in our system – messing with the procedure.
Is You First Colonoscopy Prep Covered By Insurance?
Unfortunately for me, the answer was no. We tried all of them but none were fully covered. With that said, since I had to pay, I opted for the pills which seemed the easiest route. Luckily, there is a coupon for the colonoscopy prep pills on the manufacturer’s website bringing the cost down significantly.
It’s A Go For Prep. Dun Dun Duuuun
It’s suggested that the day before a colonoscopy you just drink liquids. You can have water and black coffee which is my go-to anyway (I’m a huge fan of intermittent fasting).
Around 3pm I had some high-protein bone broth to push away the hunger.
At 5pm it was time to start taking the pills.
This prep involved taking half (12) of the pills in the evening with 16oz of water and then the other half (12) in the morning again with 16oz of water.
Both times you wash it all down with an additional 32oz of water. Easy peasy. The whole thing took ten minutes.
People complain that it’s too much to drink (even if you take the pills). But come on – we live in a society where people covet giant water bottles, so think that one of those is all you need. If you like drinking water as much as you like carrying around a trendy cup, you’re good.
The Call of DOODY
Around 7pm (two hours later) it was go time. Luckily, I prepared our lady’s room with magazines, so my confinement was entertaining. Of course, my beloved bidet was there to keep me company as well.
What to know a secret? It wasn’t that bad. To put it another way – if you’re lactose intolerant like me it was like eating pizza without a lactase pill. I mean with three kids I often hide in the bathroom anyway, so this just gave me something to do in there.
The Morning Of Your First Colorectal Cancer Screening
Regardless of your prep method you’ll finish in the morning and continue clearing out your system so it’s ready to party.
Since you can’t eat or drink anything after the prep, aim for a morning appointment so you don’t get hangry.
Flow For The Day
Leave your jewelry at home so you don’t have to remove it at the office. Also, I suggest wearing comfy clothes since you’ll be changing into a gown upon arrival. Finally, you’ll check in with the doctor and anesthesiologist, give a urine sample, get your IV and oxygen, and then lights out!
You’ll wake up on the other side of the hill with a wealth of internal knowledge.
BUTT It Was So Quick!
I woke up and all my wrinkles were gone!
Oh, no wait.
Wrong procedure.
Your first colonoscopy will be under an hour and then you head into the recovery room for about forty-five minutes. After re-checking your vitals you’ll be discharged and on your way.
I woke up enjoying that post-procedure moment of confusion where you fall asleep in one place and wake up in another. To make things even better, a nurse offered me snacks, juice, and coffee! I may make this a monthly thing.
Relaxation and Recovery
At this point, you’re free to eat so head to your favorite restaurant and treat yourself to anything you want. You deserve it!
You’ve earned a day of rest so find your favorite couch, grab the remote, and find a good show or movie to watch. Basically just relax and don’t over-exert your system. My nose was really runny afterward which apparently is a common side effect from the oxygen, but it went away by the next morning.
In Conclusion
Everyone complains that colonoscopy prep is such a big deal. I didn’t find it bad at all – especially since I prepared in advance and was at home close to a bathroom the entire time. The procedure was quick and painless and there was no recovery period.
Putting Your First Colonoscopy BEHIND You
Hooray! You get a gold star. If the doctor finds anything during your first colonoscopy they will send it to the lab. This pathology report will determine how long you can wait to return. Chances are it will be somewhere between 7-10 years.
In the meantime, keep your colon healthy by eating a low-fat, high-fiber diet with lots of leafy green vegetables, drinking lots of water, and exercising.
The END Of The Road
All joking aside, this easy screening is very important and relatively quick and easy. Even if you have an unpleasant experience with the prep from start to finish it’s less than twenty-four hours. Complaining won’t make it any better or easier, so just do it and get it over with as fast as you can.
Worse comes to worse think of the prep as the time you were on Spring Break in college, and you drank the punch… then had to pay the price.
As always, I’m not a doctor so the above is my anecdotal experience. Please consult with a medical professional for any real medical advice.
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